Saturday, April 18, 2009

i need to get over it. not everyone can have it perfectly.

i am completely frustrated with the world right now. i woke up on the wrong side of the couch, and i've been treating my husband (and all of his ideas) like a non issue. i need to wake completely up and snap out of it.
i visited frederick today, and the place is still as magical to me as ever. what i wouldn't give to live in downtown frederick. all the tiny shops and cafes make me giddy. i love all the people just walking to walk. i love the memories i have there. and yet i hate them at the same time because i was a different me. a healthy me. i can seriously mark my days of health like this... "before baby, after baby." i read on the internet that some people can have chronic headaches lasting up to 14 years. i don't want to be in that category. most days i can put up with it, but then some days (like tonight) i crack. i just don't want to deal with this...i'm too weak for real life. God help me. i never knew i'd have to bear this.
and yet look at me, i'm being so selfish. so many families have to face much worse than what i'll ever know. violence, hunger, emotional deprivation. can i ever just snap out of it and accept what is my plight in life (for now i hope, at least)?


  1. you didnt tell me you were coming down!!!!!1

  2. it was a spur of the moment thing, i didn't know i was going until that day!

  3. i am so sorry - i understand what chronic headaches are like ... (i get migraines - used to daily until i found an effective medication.)

  4. what was your effective medication?