Thursday, December 17, 2009

Holy cow batman. I'm just about 20 weeks pregnant, and I'm up 13 lbs. This is not good. When you're overweight to start with (and I was) then you can stand to gain only 10 to 20 lbs. Not gaining any weight at all would also suffice, actually. I have been trying for the most part to eat moderate to small amounts. Sure, some days I cave to cravings. Cave and crave just happen to rhyme. Irony? I think not. Try being pregnant and NOT caving. For some reason, food becomes this big deal when preggy. And not just any food, a certain kind of food. I seriously cried over KFC the other week. But as soon as the craving passed, I passed up fried chicken on a buffet I was later at. Then it was warheads. Now they're in the cupboard. It's like, this thing just comes over you and forces you to "gotta have it RIGHT NOW." I can't even explain it.
Anyway, back to the point. Most of the time I'm aware that I'm carrying an extra tractor trailer around, and I need to be conscious of every decision I make. It's kind of hard when you're nauseous half the day, and the other half spontaneously experiencing this insatiable hunger. FOOD NOW.
So WHERE is this 13 lbs at? If I was not pregnant, I would not have gained 13 lbs. I just need to tell myself that. I was not eating enough to warrant a 13 lb gain. So dear God, please let it all be in my uterus! Or please just let it be a 13 lb baby, and have them cut it out of me!
In other news, I think I managed to make A's in both of my classes this semester. Which is pretty unbelievable because I hardly read the textbooks. I barely studied. I did what I had to do, and I was done with it. The bare minimum effort, if you will. Half butting it. Facebook, household chores, and River got way more of my time. Next semester I won't be able to float along so easily. I'll be almost full time. So this may be a practice trial for the real sha-bang. I just hope I survive. Dear God, please let me SURVIVE. There are so many other things I'd rather be up to than studying Western Civilization (I know, that sounds terrible). My Social Work classes have the potential to be very interesting, but I'm just weary. Too weary to throw myself at them 100 per cent. I guess I've chosen to do so many things at once that I can't be 100 per cent to anything. I guess it's just a time of sacrifice.

<3Love you all


  1. thanks for sharing where you're at, kristine! you know, i've heard time and time again that the important thing is not how much you gain, but if you're living healthy, and every pregnancy is different. i know it's hard to take comfort in that, but you're doing what's best for you're little baby! take care. :)

  2. thanks lani for the enouraging words <3