Friday, August 7, 2009

wow. what a kick in the stomach. i googled "kristinelovesrain" and suddenly i'm reading comments i've posted to people five years ago. when transported to the past, i usually get sad. why? i have this nevereverending desire to go back. and it's an impossible wish. get over it kristine. everyone lives. everyone dies. there is no going back from here.

same here! i'm almost 17, and i've done plenty of dreaming about the wedding. if you find a pic, make sure you tell me when it's up!

and yes, the hair just has to be down. it adds so much more. who would want to hide it?


this was posted on my friend christine's old xanga. john and i broke up that year, and that year i was mentally torn in half (those who know me say, what year haven't you been? but trust me, this year was 2nd worst in all my life). i still found it in me to somehow post something about a wedding. i insinuated dreams of my own wedding. i wonder what i wanted, what i aspired it to be? i'm sure nothing i got in reality in regards to my wedding day was anything i'd ever plan. but i really loved my wedding. i don't regret the day. oh yes, and i wore my hair down. <3

and then in 2006, i was jealous that my friend laura went to scotland (and i don't get to travel much). and i said this, "for once i'd like to see further than what i do...just like my mind does..." now i THINK (think think think) i was making an interesting connection between my body's ability to travel and my mind's. how i wished my body could travel as much as my mind's. but alas, this was three years ago. and who has time to sit down and analyze their thoughts from three years ago? and who puts their comments into the deep memory reserve banks anyway?


man, all this sentimentality makes me want to play head automatica's beating hearts baby.


  1. aww. as i read the comment i remembered it. <3

  2. did you seriously remember it? for some reason that is getting me in the heart right now. that's so sweet.

  3. i recently found my high school journal and read some of it ... reacted partly with nostalgia, and partly with "wow, was i really that immature???"
    it's so odd to come across things that allow us to objectively observe who we used to be. thank goodness for growth! :)

  4. that's true, i guess there are probably lots of things i've written or said that i'll never do again, thankfully.

  5. I reread the first emails from when I opened my gmail account. WOW what a kick in the stomach. I had so hoped I had grown or matured but NO such luck!

  6. when did you first open your gmail account?

  7. i LOVE rereading your coms on Xanga btw. you're the best beautyful online buddy ever.

    i'm jealous too, dangit, i want to go back there and stay forever.

    love to you!