my life into words.

I've been annoying myself. I have been caring about way too many things that don't even matter in the long run. Really, I have my whole life ahead of me. Why should I care about this or that and the other thing? I know right now what I'm saying does not make much sense to the untrained eye (o.k., any eye). Let me clarify. This is my story. I need to write it in my own way and in my own time. God is my judge, and in the end it's up to Him how I did. Nobody else gets to judge and/or define my life, especially by strict societal "standards" which also mean nothing.

And here's another thing. I'm getting tired of being obsessed with germs. This whole thing is stupid. I've never been like this before, why suddenly start up now? Life is full of germs, and some are even necessary for human life to build up good immune systems. They aren't going anywhere, and neither am I. That's not to say that I will now live my life as a dirty slob. No, that's to say I am now on the path to healing...I will no longer wonder/have anxiety about invisible things that I can't see waiting to hurt my family and I. It's ridiculous. This person who I've been lately isn't who I really am. I need to focus, focus, focus.

And (yes, one more paragraph that starts with and, because I don't feel like being all wordy and original right now), I'd like to get River involved with The Little Gym some day in the not too far away future. I think it's possibly one of the cutest things I've ever seen. Mothers chasing around their little babies, bells, bubbles, soft gym contraptions, monkey bars. It doesn't get any more exciting than that for a one year old. Let me tell you! And I hope I meet some nice people along the way.

<3